To Try or Not To Try Too Hard?
According to French philosopher and writer, Ollivier Pourriol, the answer is the latter.
Happy Soulful Sunday, loves!
I love gloominess.
Whether it is a gloomy day, a gloomy morning or a gloomy evening, I find a sense of peace in the ominous energy. A peace that usually leads to the deep desire to sit with my feelings, sit with my thoughts, and most importantly, to sit and write.
I’m not writing this the day you receive it, so I actually have no idea if it will be gloomy or not when it is received. Nevertheless, I wanted to take advantage of this enticing energy to sit and to write.
To do what doesn’t require me to try too hard.
This week, I finally finished The French Art of Not Trying Too Hard by Ollivier Pourriol. After spending the last two months deep in the romance genre, I decided to switch it up and check out this book in my latest library visit since it has been in my ‘Books’ folder on Pinterest for awhile and looked like a promising read.
I also didn’t want to get caught up in a romance novel on my most recent trip so I thought it would be a great book to indulge in during the timeframe of me traveling to a new country, and a great chance to get deeper in touch with the European vibes.
And that it was, my beloved friend.
I ended up starting the book at the beginning of my trip. Read a few chapters on my plane ride home. Then, I finally came back to the book this week and finished it right on time to return it before the due date.
It had been a long time since I read a self-discovery/self-help book. To be quite honest, I had lost faith in the legitimacy of the genre; finding it hard to implement a lot of the teachings I was getting and getting impatient in waiting for the “change” to happen in my life.
But after reading this book, it made me realize how glad I am that I stepped away from that genre so I can actually discover myself and let life help me understand those valuable lessons.
It didn’t take long into reading for me to grasp that I am, too, a person who has been trying too hard and could use a bit of that je ne sais qoi that the French apparently know all too well.
So without spoiling too much of this book for anyone interested in reading it, I wanted to share with you my biggest takeaways from the book and what I’ve implemented into my life so far.
First and foremost, I would like to start by sharing my review of this book. As I insinuated earlier, I have a love/hate relationship with the self-discovery/self-help genre. In a way, I am a total sucker for those types of books that excite me to look at myself differently and discover better ways of being and living. In another way, these books can be very dense, hard to stay fully engaged throughout, and impractical/unnecessary advice for me and my needs. I’ve probably read up to 30 or so books in the genre in my lifetime now, and I would say that this book was probably one of the best ones I read. It is very straightforward, practical, and written in a language that makes you believe in infinite possibilities.
I will say that it is an information dense book, and I mean information as in stories of famous French figures who you may or may not know that relate to the message, but I think this would make a great audiobook for anyone looking for some sort of inspiration or motivation to pivot your life in a direction you want and deserve. Still was a great sit down read though!
Okay now let’s get into the good stuff.
Continue. What a powerful way to start a book and a great lesson. You may be wondering, “how the hell if I meant to continue if I don’t even know what I started?” Well, love, that’s basically the point Pourriol is trying to make. Many times we are so worried about how we are meant to start an action, start to change, start something new without ever really realizing that we have already begun. So how I interrupted this to be is to basically do without thinking of the start but to think about the finish. In other words, focus on what I want to do and not what I am thinking because it’s just easier that way.
And to my surprise since trying this method, it really is much easier to act as if I already started and just continue like I already know so that I can actually understand how to do it well and become more confident in my actions.
Start. Isn’t it funny how Pourriol purposely named his next chapter start? But it’s actually clever because at that point into reading you may be asking yourself, “how am I supposed to continue if I don’t even know where to start?” To which Pourriol is basically explaining to start with what’s easy. Though many of us feel pressured and obligated to spend our time overcoming what’s hard, the French art tells us to actually do what’s easy and to act with ease. Yes, we all have to overcome challenges. However, it doesn’t always have to feel straining or be met with the same amount of difficulties. We can simply take approaches that feel easy and do what’s easy until we eventually overcome like we were meant to.
Stop Thinking. Easier said than done. I should know, I’ve spent my preteen years up until now trying desperately to master this universal lesson. Pourriol does a much better job at emphasizing the importance of learning to stop the thought trail in your mind so that you can better prioritize what thoughts matter to you. But I will say that the better you can become in being present in your reality and take your attention away from the mind, the happier you’ll be and the more your life will actually pivot in a direction you love.
I especially loved this chapter and have done my best to practice it in my daily life since reading it. I am hoping to master the inclusion of daily meditation in stillness, but I have been using a lot of meditative techniques throughout the day to combat stray thoughts and better focus on what is going on in front of me. I also am learning to act instinctively and intuitively to help me understand my life and purpose instead of spending hours contemplating, analyzing, searching for answers that only unexpected outcomes of action can provide for me.
Hit The Target Without Aim. Did you know that the word ‘discipline’ used to mean to learn? Not how you learned, but the literal action ‘to learn’. The spread of Christianity in the world changed the meaning of the word to add more terror and to emphasize punishment in the meaning. (This era also changed the word ‘work’ to mean forced labor, but we can digest the contradiction in Christianity the religion and Christianity used for power another time.) Pourriol spends this chapter getting deep into philosophy to explain the fact that ‘the less you think, the more you get’. These two quotes in particular stuck out to me so I’ll leave you with those: “Growth itself can cause pain or difficulty, but pain is not the purpose of growth.” “You don’t have to suffer to grow.”
The Secret Laws of Attention. This chapter was probably the densest for me to read, and will probably take a lifetime of referring back to to actually grasp all Pourriol illustrated in this chapter. However, by this point in the book, everything I needed to understand was in the name of the book. Don’t try too hard. In order to be our most attentive, we need ease and we need rest. Plain and simple. The more you try, the less you get. As referred to in the book by a quote from Alain, “They don’t see because they’re looking too hard.”
All in all after reading, digesting, and implementing the wisdom from this book, I really haven’t been trying too hard at anything and it feels pretty damn good. I feel the most impact in my writing since reading this story. I feel like I have a newfound freedom, confidence and vulnerability that I haven’t felt before. I am eager to share without thought, worry or expectation of the outcome. I am taking more risk with my writing by just writing what feels honest and authentic for me in the moment without looking back and judging myself for the temporary. And most importantly, it helped me understand that my life has a purpose I am not meant to understand until my dying breath. I am just here to live through action, learn through experience, process through thoughts and cherish through love.
So for my beautiful people who are still sticking with me through what feels like my longest post to date, I encourage you to stop trying too hard.
Really! Just stop trying too hard.
Still try, but there is really no need to try too hard because we are just here to live, learn, process and cherish.
We don’t know how long we have left on this crazy journey, so why not do what we can control and figure out how to give into the ease?
With ease, comes peace. With peace, comes happiness. With happiness, comes love.
And eventually, you, too, will be living with the French art of not trying too hard.
So, my lovely friend, I am wishing you a beautiful rest of your Sunday and a wonderful new week ahead. Sending love and positivity your way!
Until next time 💚
Beauties! Here is an Amazon link to the book if you are interested in checking it out. It should also be available at your local library as well, but I do recommend purchasing it if you can because it is a great book to have on the shelf and come back to when you need it.
I also created a playlist inspired by my experience reading this particular book that I wanted to share. This is what I listened to while I took notes and wrote this essay so enjoy it as you see fit. Mostly house, with a little bit of trance and groovy energy to it. Find it here on Spotify or Apple Music.